What are we listening to ? What are we hearing ? What's going on in between our ears ?
Recently I have been fighting a pretty big battle inside my head.
Whilst it is incredibly personal, this battle, I believe there are some principles we each can learn, maybe from what I am working through.
If you never have faced inner turmoil, or conflict of values and beliefs, if you have never struggled for meaning and purpose, then maybe you would be wasting your time reading this blog entry.
The battle has caused me to feel a number of things in my mindset which I am not going to share here as I am not looking for some kind of sympathy from anyone. Neither am i trying to manipulate any situation or person.
So what does one do, when things don't add up in your mind ? When what you believe, is challenged ? When your values are tested ? When everything you have ever thought about yourself and your life is seemingly lost in “translation” ?
Today, a close pastor friend of mine sent me a note…. Well a prophecy, spoken into my heart and mind and then put in writing for me.
This is what was spoken to me:
“Yesterday in my devotion time I was reading Genesis 39, in the story of Joseph at the point in time where he has reached Potiphar’s house (an Egyptian officer of Pharoah, the captain of the guard therefore powerful in the culture and city of Egypt). Reading from Gen 39:2 The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. 3 When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, 4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. 5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.
The Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house and over all that he hadfor Joseph’s sake.
This reminded me how God uses both those who follow Him and those who don’t for His good purposes.
It reminds me that God is in the midst of culture, of the secular, of the worldly for He made the world and everything in it.
It reminds me that God is with you wherever we are placed, and the preceding story of Joseph beaten, imprisoned and forgotten was not the end of the story. Greater things are coming.
I think it can be really hard, when a word of hope is spoken over a person who feels hopeless.
Maybe that tells you too much, but it’s true isnt it ? When a person is low and another person speaks high ideals, it’s hard to actually believe in a new reality.
Yet I want to believe…. Don’t you ?
Anyway while I was working my way through this….the words I have spoken before flooded back into my being and mindset…. God says: “I am El Roi” the God who sees you. (Who sees me)
The God Who knows my battle and struggle (and yours)
And as such the battle between my ears became even more real…there is a battle for my mind, for my whole being in fact.
Being a Christian is a costly thing, it is free, but there is no promise of a smooth easy road …maybe that’s why so many people turn away from Jesus. Maybe.
A few questions remain in how do we respond to the battle for our mind ? For our heart ?
Who or what will actually win the battle ?
I am pretty sure that’s a personal choice…who do you want to win ? Hope ? Or Hopelessness ?
Truth ? Or deception ? God ? Or yourself ?
And the battle continues…. I think maybe for the rest of our lives …. Maybe !?
Will I choose blessing ? Like Joseph ? Choosing faithfulness to Jesus over popularity with those around me ? Will I choose the Lordship Of Jesus over my own feelings right now ? Or do my feelings align with Jesus’ way for my life ?
I think my story…is to be continued….
What about you ?
I dont know if this blog entry makes any sense or not, it’s just how and what I am feeling about my life these days.
Thanks for taking a moment to read it.
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