When things dont go the way you thought they would !?

I am 56 years of age, and have lived a pretty good life, mostly. I have made so many mistakes in my life that I cant count them all... at times,  I think I remember every single sin I have ever committed.

I have also had my fair share of victories and sometimes I can also remember those.

There have been times in my life when I have been in complete despair over my own stupid actions, and then there have been times when I have felt elated over a situation or circumstance.

As I sit here and reflect on all this, this early Christmas morning 2016, I have just received a SMS message thanking me for my contribution in another persons life.  I thought the message was a mistake seeing as though I didn't recognize who it was that sent it, and have had no ministry contact in more than 12 months with this person.  I feel like I have had little impact on anyone else's life this year... actually, so it was a bit of a surprise to me to receive the SMS.

Anyway it caused me to just sit and ponder my life again. Some of which makes me more sadder than I would like to talk about.

There have been days in my life when I have felt like I could burst.... such happiness and overflowing joy, flowing in my heart... one such day, was just amazing for me ...so much peace and joy it overwhelmed me.... such satisfaction and ...well I can't explain it...

only to be followed not long after by a day of total devastation that I wondered whether I would ever recover. In fact I dont think really I have recovered from it  at all. I was helpless in it, and there was nothing I could say or do to make it right.

has your life been like that ?

I have felt, at times, overlooked, abandoned, forgotten, .... I have felt useless and weak, and also a waste of space. I have felt others treat me in ways I shouldn't be treated and haven't deserved to be treated and I have felt like I am of no worth to anyone or anything.

And there have been times when I felt like I could in fact make a difference to the little world around me and help others to find hope and a way in the madness .  There have been times I have felt like I could contribute something ..  and there have been times when I knew I could help.

I dont think I am stupid and I have learned a fair bit over the past 20 years or so and have tried to apply that knowledge and experience to my ordinary everyday life.  Sometimes with success and other times to be rejected completely.


Its kind of what life is all about isnt it ?

So what do I do as I approach my 57th year.... ? Live with regret and sadness ? Or live with hope and a sense of gladness ? Will I think I am better than others ?  Or will I try to help others ? Try and better things... or make them worse by my potential selfish ambition ?

Do you ? What will you do ? With 2017 ?

I (and most likely you too) dont want to live my life being buffered around by the rejection or mindlessness of others .... I dont want to wallow in my own self pity of feeling forgotten. I dont want to be defined by my past mistakes....  I truly want to be defined by my past victories and potential to make a difference to the present and future.


To add value to those around me, no matter what the circumstances look like. Or feel like. Maybe its easier said than done... maybe !!!

So in my life, and in yours too.... we all have regrets, mistakes, lost opportunities, sin, and feelings of being abandoned or overlooked... and without getting too preachy on this Christmas Day 2016... there was the arrival of Jesus on the earth so long ago that made a difference to us all.

We listen to carols sung about it every year.

Many have no idea what they are singing about.

BUT JESUS.... He is the difference and makes the difference and so when things dont turn out the way you thought or hoped they would, remember Jesus is with you, He is with us, through every up and down of life, He is standing alongside us all the way, and never abandons us or forgets us or rejects us or overlooks us. He is our reason, well he is mine... and today as I consider the gift of Jesus to my life... and also consider the topsy turvy life I have lived so far, I am deeply thankful that below the surface of my visible life, there is a saviour and what a saviour He is to me.

So if things haven't turned out the way you had hoped in your life so far ? I get it... but don't stay there... allow the deep peace of Jesus to fill your mind this moment and choose a new path for a new year that will lead you closer to Jesus than you have lived in the past.

that's what I am gonna do.

Merry Christmas.










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