Does it all mean nothing ??? Think I will buy a bike !!!!

 

Retirement… what does it all mean ? Does it mean nothing ? I wonder what everyone else who has ever retired before me has felt ? (Maybe you could put your thoughts in the comments) but as I have semi retired I am faced with a whole pile of questions that I have no answers for as yet.

I am still actively supporting CityLife church in coordinating their weekend volunteers, an awesome bunch of people, a few hundred of them….and now face the really big question of my life, has everything I have done in my life counted for anything ?

Now before everyone preaches at me, Yes I know it has been for the Lord and I really believe that during my ministry life I have tried to serve Him to the best of my ability and capacity. And I may never know the eternal effects of that, however I still feel this sense of …”so what” in my heart and mind, and thats really hard to come to terms with.  (It kind of follows on from my last blog entry)

So what now…??? Looking at the state of the world right now, with wars escalating, fuel security in our own nation at risk, which of course will flow into food supply and everything else…the whole world feels really quite stuffed up right now.

And then I look at my life, new job opportunities on the horizon, full retirement age fast approaching, meaning that end of human life also fast approaches and watching everything going on around me, with people around me making “interesting” choices… and I find myself wondering….what is the point of everything ? Or anything ? Will the choices we each make, have any serious consequence for our own lives and for those we dearly love around us ?

The writer in the bible …states it as everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. He might have been onto something hey ? Perhaps he was feeling what I am feeling.

We seem to prioritize stuff that really has no future or sense of anything ! We live for the here and now and when the here and now is disrupted by some crazy people doing crazy things overseas by starting wars. One must question why even do that ? What has it achieved ? 

I am not a doomsday person, in fact I still have my whole hope in Jesus Christ and His kingdom…however on this earth …apart from worshipping Him and serving Him and helping others to serve Him and honour Him, what is the point ? We save our money to buy nice things, and we all do, and I do, but when I am gone, what then ? Who will even want my model car collection ?  Lol.

All is not doom and gloom I understand that… but think about this scenario…

I have a $50,000 car sitting in my garage, it is a beautiful car, but if  I listen to the experts, there may be no fuel for it in 40 days. If there is no fuel for my car, then my car is useless and of no value whatsoever.

It will be of no value, who would even want to be able to buy a car that cant go anywhere without fuel.

Think I will buy a bike.

Maybe as I am getting older and seeing the end in sight, maybe I am becoming cynical and negative, or maybe I am just thinking the worst. It is hard when the media paints such a rotten picture of what lays ahead.  

I don't know what you think about life, I am sure grappling with it these days.

But it comes down to worldview and perspective….our perspective in Australia would be very different to those in Iran  and Israel right now. This isn’t a post about who is right or wrong, just a note about perspective. My worldview is based on what I have done, what I have seen, what I have experienced in my life so far and what I hope to still see.  I am not so worried about missiles dropping from the sky, or worried about the shortage of toilet paper…

I think what does concern me right now, is that my life has counted for something, for someone. That I have not wasted all my life chasing the wind and meaningless activity.

That the things I have lived for, and preached for over 30 years plus, have actually helped  and that in the long run, I may have contributed to something of substance for the earth and for the King of Kings.

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* Please remember, my blog is just a space for me to share my thoughts and feelings about life as I see it.

                I hope one day that Jesus might say to me… “well done Gaz, you did good “

The Battle Between My Ears.

What are we listening to ?      What are we hearing ?      What's going on in between our ears ?

Recently I have been fighting a pretty big battle inside my head.  

Whilst it is incredibly personal, this battle, I believe there are some principles we each can learn, maybe from what I am working through. 

If you never have faced inner turmoil, or conflict of values and beliefs, if you have never struggled for meaning and purpose, then maybe you would be wasting your time reading this blog entry.

The battle has caused me to feel a number of things in my mindset which I am not going to share here as I am not looking for some kind of sympathy from anyone. Neither am i trying to manipulate any situation or person.

So what does one do, when things don't add up in your mind ? When what you believe, is challenged ? When your values are tested ?  When everything you have ever thought about yourself and your life is seemingly lost in “translation” ?

Today, a close pastor friend of mine sent me a note…. Well a prophecy, spoken into my heart and mind and then put in writing for me.

This is what was spoken to me:

“Yesterday in my devotion time I was reading Genesis 39, in the story of Joseph at the point in time where he has reached Potiphar’s house (an Egyptian officer of Pharoah, the captain of the guard therefore powerful in the culture and city of Egypt).  Reading from Gen 39:2  The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. ³ When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, ⁴ Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. ⁵ From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field.

 

The Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house and over all that he hadfor Joseph’s sake. 

This reminded me how God uses both those who follow Him and those who don’t for His good purposes.

It reminds me that God is in the midst of culture, of the secular, of the worldly for He made the world and everything in it.

It reminds me that God is with you wherever we are placed, and the preceding story of Joseph beaten, imprisoned and forgotten was not the end of the story. Greater things are coming.

I think it can be really hard, when a word of hope is spoken over a person who feels hopeless.

Maybe that tells you too much, but it’s true isnt it ? When a person is low and another person speaks high ideals, it’s hard to actually believe in a new reality.

Yet I want to believe…. Don’t you ?

Anyway while I was working my way through this….the words I have spoken before flooded back into my being and mindset…. God says: “I am El Roi”  the God who sees you.  (Who sees me)

The God Who knows my battle and struggle (and yours)

And as such the battle between my ears became even more real…there is a battle for my mind, for my whole being in fact.  

Being a Christian is a costly thing, it is free, but there is no promise of a smooth easy road …maybe that’s why so many people turn away from Jesus.     Maybe.

A few questions remain in how do we respond to the battle for our mind ? For our heart ?

Who or what will actually win the battle ?

I am pretty sure that’s a personal choice…who do you want to win ? Hope ? Or Hopelessness ?

Truth ? Or deception ? God ? Or yourself ? 

And the battle continues…. I think maybe for the rest of our lives …. Maybe !?

Will I choose blessing ? Like Joseph ? Choosing faithfulness to Jesus over popularity with those around me ? Will I choose the Lordship Of Jesus over my own feelings right now ? Or do my feelings align with Jesus’ way for my life ?

I think my story…is to be continued….  

What about you ?

I dont know if this blog entry makes any sense or not, it’s just how and what I am feeling about my life these days.

Thanks for taking a moment to read it.

They Shall Come….

I was born a Salvo and I will probably always have Salvo - yellow red and blue, flowing through my blood. However at this stage of my life I am worshipping and working in an amazing church in Victoria, Maybe one of the largest churches in Australia right now. And it is helping me in so many ways.

Today it was the strangest thing, God spoke to my heart, well He has been for a few days now about ministry  and who I am….and today as Shelley preached, my heart was touched again and this old (1986) Song came flooding into my heart and mind. 

 The words of this song have spoken to me for years and then out of the blue here they come again…

The song written by a General in The Salvation Army for one of the musicals that was produced a number of years ago, has caught the attention of Salvos for decades  and in the middle of a Pentecostal church God spoke the truth to me again.

The song words are:

1. They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God;

Both the rich and the poor, the despised, the

distressed,

They’ll sit down in the Kingdom of God.

And none will ask what they have been

Provided that their robes are clean;

They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God.

2. They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God;

To be met by their Father and welcomed and

blessed,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God.

The black, the white, the dark, the fair,

Your colour will not matter there;

They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God.

3. They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west,

And sit down in the Kingdom of God;

Out of great tribulation to triumph and rest

They’ll sit down in the Kingdom of God.

From every tribe and every race,

All men as brothers shall embrace;

They shall come from the east, they shall

come from the west.

And sit down in the Kingdom of God.

John Gowans (General)

CityLife church is exactly this.. people from every race, age and gender attend this church. It is outstanding and some of my very good friends now, in this church, call Australia “home” now, when it is not necessarily their country of origin.

in Gods eyes we are all the same. And in Gods future this is what it looks like.

That we should all as brothers and sisters, embrace and be counted as one family. 

The family of God, regardless of what church we attend, what colour our skin is, what clothes we wear, or style of worship we prefer. 

All people as brothers and sisters shall embrace.

That’s the Kingdom of God in a nutshell.

Shelley preached today (an amazing message )about the theatre’s or arena’s and idols in our lives. I guess my theatre, my arena is right here…. Does everyone agree with what I post in my blog ? I doubt it and some have been fairly critical over the years, but still this blog has had over 96,000 hits over the past years and as such, I have spoken my mind on a lot of matters and a lot of people have read it .

  

And I want my readers to know, that I am sold out on Jesus. That He is my King and my Lord and regardless of whether anyone agree’s with me or not I will not be silent and I will keep being who I am and who I was called to be, a messenger of Hope, a messenger of Jesus.

I look at  the world right now, and see conflict, violence and suffering, I see injustice and pain… I see struggle and hardship, and I still know and believe that Jesus Christ is the Hope of the world and that His Church is the vehicle to bring this hope and promise right into the middle of the mess.

Is it any worse now than it has been before ? 

Or is it that we are just hearing more about it now than ever before ? 

I am not sure… 

But I do know this, that one day, people will gather and embrace and hope will be returned and peace will rule once again. Our skin colour wont matter, and neither will anything else …with Jesus as Lord and our eyes set upon Him, 

He is our God.

Out of Great struggle we will arise and our joy will not be able to be measured.

I was distressed today to hear of the persecution and criticism that some Pastors have to wear. I recognise it, I have had my fair share over the years, often from people who have no real idea at all and hardly any experience in doing what you (I) have done as a Pastor …Officer, Preacher.

So today ..I feel energized, pumped up and ready to go again in whatever God has for me to do next. 

We have amazing people leading this church, Chloe led us today in worship, and she is outstanding as a worship leader, in my opinion…  she always blesses me with her singing and obvious heart for Jesus.

Clem hosted our service and helped us to be focused. Clem is half the reason why I am working at this church right now. Such a good man, who I respect and value highly.

So whatever is next… I am ready !!! (Justsayin)

Hitting the Bullseye.

 

A few months back I read this quote, “that it is never the fault of the target when an archer misses the bullseye, it is always the fault of the archer, and that they need to adjust themselves to hit the target etc:”

It raised a whole pile of thoughts for me…. Thoughts of target practice, whether the target was in the right place to start with, whether it is actually the wrong target in the first place, whether the archer was focused enough …had their technique correct, I am sure you get the gist of what I am thinking.

In my life there have been times when I have had targets in  my line of sight.  I have had targets set for me, we call them goals, or benchmarks or results. Sometimes, it has occurred to me that my targets were unachievable. 

Other times throughout my ministry life, in excess of 30 years, these targets have been, not only unrealistic, but also contrary to what we should have been aiming for in the first place. 

Targets are set based on a whole pile of expectations and issues facing an organisation or system, even in our personal life we set goals, resolutions, hopes and dreams that may be far fetched and or never able to be obtained. 

In every situation and organisation I have worked in  goals, objectives (targets) are in place. Sometimes like the whole world will crumble if I don't achieve it.

However, the analogy still rings true….if your goal, target is nothing, then that is exactly what you will hit.

So what does one do when the pressure is on to perform or hit a bullseye every single time ? 

I have a few thoughts on that also..

1. Make sure the target is in the right position.

2. Do everything you can to hit the bullseye. (Training, strategy, mini steps along the way etc)

3. Ready, Aim….and Fire.   (Prepare, focus and shoot for the bullseye )

Understanding you will never ever hit the target if you don’t actually do something to try and do so.

As we start a brand new year, it’s like a blank canvas…  a target that hasn’t had any shots yet against it.

However, will we arrive at December 2026 and wonder what happened in the past year that moved so fast that we don't know where it even went ? Did we even set any Goals ? Plans ? Strategies ?  Were the ones set for us actually doable ?  Did we shoot and fall short ? And if we did fall short, were we positioned correctly to even be able to achieve ?

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Throughout my life I have shot and fallen short, I have moved my personal targets any number of times, changed the way I shoot and missed it all completely .  Haven't you as well ?

Have you ever woken up and wondered where your life went ?  Wondering if this is what it was supposed to be like ?

I have. 

Maybe even more so lately. 

Approaching the final years of my life I have been thinking did I miss something ? Did I have the wrong target in position ? Did I give it my best shot ? Was I ever useful in any process anyway ?

Some of those questions I have good answers for, I did give it my very best shot…. yes I really did.  

I certainly hit some targets along the way, and missed a few as well. There were times, in hindsight, that the targets set would never be achievable ….it was pie in the sky for someone who set them ….but I gave it a shot anyway.

So…am I all washed up now ? Is there anything left in me ? Am I of any worth or value to anyone or anything, anymore ?  

I don’t want to end my working/ministry life feeling defeated and useless….I still have energy and wisdom enough left in me, as well as experience and skills, that can be used to hit a new target.

So do you .

The real question now, for me, and maybe also for you…. Will I get my position right and shoot once more for an achievable target ?

I plan to aim for that !!! And take the steps to get into position once again, and then go for it, once more.

Bless you this day and your new year 2026.

Silent Night….Merry Christmas everyone.

 

There is this one Christmas Carol that gets me every single time I hear it. I am not 100% sure of the reason why it gets me, but it just does. I find myself with a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat everytime. It happened again yesterday when I was watching the Christmas Carol  show in Melbourne city.

I remember a few years ago, I was out with The Ringwood Salvo Band…caroling. We would often speak with the neighbors while the band played carols in their street.

I remember speaking with this one family who were doing it tough  and up the street the band played this beautiful carol.  I became overwhelmed as I walked back down the path moving to the next house. 

Perhaps it’s the words, or the tune, or most likely the deep deep truth of the story that the song speaks about.

Christ the Saviour is born….and we remember and celebrate that every year…and for some of us, every day of our lives.

Whatever Christmas 2025 brings to you…I pray that you will remember the truth of Christmas and that Jesus came to this earth for us all…and also,  specifically for you.

This year may have bought you pain and confusion…it may have been a hard year, it may have been unsettling or even wonderful. But no matter what it has bought you…. Please allow me to remind you of the fact that some 2000 years ago God sent Jesus …His one and only Son, to provide a way for us all to be in relationship with God Himself, and  to have hope for  the future.

So Merry Christmas…and a safe and happy new year in 2026.

Here are the words….for you if you dont know them….

Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy Infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace. 

Verse 2
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar,
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah,
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born! 

Verse 3
Silent night, holy night!
Son of God, love's pure light.
Radiant beams from Thy holy face,
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth. 

Verse 4
Silent night, holy night!
Wondrous star, lend thy light;
With the angels let us sing,
Alleluia to our King;
Christ the Savior is born,
Christ the Savior is born! 

Traumatic events.

I am sitting here, contemplating the ridiculous events at Bondi this weekend. It is so difficult to imagine that people can do this to each other. It’s horrid. 

I have some very dear Jewish friends in Melbourne who do not deserve to be treated in such ways as this. 

It is appalling.

It rushed a whole pile of mixed feelings and memories of an event some 30 years ago where I also was confronted with such tragedy as this.

So what do we do ? 

I am angry, as probably many of us are in Australia. This is not our country. 

Firstly, let us try to find ways to support one another.  If you are struggling, then reach out for support, a  counselor, a pastor, a friend. Call lifeline, or a helpline and talk it out, don’t stuff it in and think that it will just go away, we need each other in times like these.

One of the biggest helps I  have found over the years  especially around traumatic events, is to seek debriefing… to seek out that support.  I am here for you if you want to chat with me, (it doesn't need to be me though ) but if you do want to chat with me, just send me a note or a phone call and I would be happy to chat and listen to your heart as we try to find hope in hopelessness. To seek peace in the middle of conflict. If you cant find anyone else, please don't hesitate to make contact with me.

I heard some great advice for us all…. Whilst we must not forget or diminish the tragic events…. Try to look for the good. Look to those who jumped in to help others, the ones who opened up their homes to shelter others, those who were brave to tackle the evil, those who helped others…. Look for the true spirit of our nation. Those who stepped up  …. And we must never surrender to the evil that rises around us.

A lot of people criticize our emergency workers …we would be lost without them.  Thank them for their great sacrifice and work. When  I was the chaplain at Ambulance Victoria  there were often people criticizing the paramedics…..until they themselves needed a paramedic and an ambulance.  Why don't we seek to support instead of criticize ?  See a cop ? Thank them for the risk they take everyday.

The world would be a much better place if we encouraged more and criticized less.

And whilst I am not a trauma counselor, I have seen and experienced my fare share of trauma and I know that often a listening ear, an appropriate hug, crying with others, often helps ….just to sit in silence with another person, to be “present” and not “absent”…..is often a valuable help to those who are struggling.

Sometimes no words are necessary.

If you are struggling… as we all possibly are right now, don't try to do it alone. 

We could all do better if we stand together and remain true to our Australian values. And if you are a Christ Follower, to our Christian values.

And as we approach Christmas, a time of good will and peace on earth, my prayer is that we will find and share good will to one another, and share peace with each other.

In Hebrew, the word “Shalom” is translated as well being, to be well and in good health, wholeness, completeness, soundness, health, safety and prosperity. It has an ancient, powerful and complex sense of meaning, and if ever we needed shalom peace in our world, in our nation…it is right now.

I pray that whatever you are feeling today, that you might know the Shalom peace that God can give us each.