The Spiritual Experiences of my life. (Wondering about my Wandering) (It’s kind of Ripley’s…)

It’s always good to be reminded or to remember what God has done in your life.

Recently, I hit a bit of a low spot in my life.  Things had changed so much, it’s not that I had lost my way, it’s just that I was distracted by the “stuff” of my life.  

My ethics and values had been challenged and I was floundering a bit. The situation caused me to reevaluate my decisions and choices and it left me feeling all a bit empty and wondering around my wandering.  I was wandering, a little lost in the wilderness it felt. Life can do that to you, that is why we need solid foundations, strong values….values are what you fall back on when everything else seems to fall apart.

Recently, I was approached to participate in a prayer event at a local church, and it threw me, because I felt fairly weak and defeated myself at that time. Not in good shape. A bit of a lull in my spiritual journey.

So I declined, and explained why….

It was then that the person who was inviting me, reminded me of a story from my past that I had shared years ago with her. It was a bit of a rebuke really, not from her, but from the Lord Himself as He reminded me of what He had already done in my life and hadn’t finished with me, and wants to do even more in and through me.

So this blog entry today is all about what I can remember ….of what God has already done in and through and around me.  It is not a brag session about me, for who am I to brag. 

If it is seen as a brag session, then let it be about God and how good He is, how powerful and almighty He is.

Let it encourage you to pray and believe for big things from God in your life. As I again seek to remind myself of what God has already done ….

Here are a few things, that I can clearly remember…a brief summary of each event ( if you want more detail, please email me or make a comment with your name etc, I will get back to you.)

(A disclaimer: there have been many many times, when I have been tempted by the enemy, that these things never actually happened.  BUT they did and I clearly remember them for they built faith and trust and courage inside me.   I believe that greater things can still happen for us each if we trust God with our lives at the very deepest core of our being.)

Not in any specific order.

* When I was very young, our daughter, who was a little girl at that time, was struggling with all kinds of ear problems. I remember clearly the day I came home from my work as a youth pastor/worker, working with street kids in Perth, and our little one was in incredible agony. We took her to the doctor and he prescribed some antibiotics and informed us if this didn't work she would need surgery on her ear. I was on this journey back then, searching for spiritual meaning and we decided we would take her to the church and have her prayed for by our Pastors/Officers. I will never forget what happened in those moments. I sat with her on my knee, she couldn’t walk by then she had lost her balance and she just sat in my arms, as (Rod and Jen) prayed for her to be healed. It’s important to note, she had had just one tablet at that stage of the antibiotics….anyway as they prayed she started to wiggle and then she threw up,  I caught it mostly in my hand, (disgusting I know right ?) anyway after it had finished I went to the bathroom and washed and cleaned up  the mess and this lump of stuff was in my hand that took boiling hot water around 10 minutes to break down. I went back to the office where everyone was, and our little one was up running around the office. She was healed. Asking for food ….and doing normal things that she couldn’t do before. They prayed, God moved, and our little girl was healed.  (Outrageous and wonderful)

* Another time, I was having a prayer  and worship time in my lounge room in Perth. It was a very special time and I remember it as clear as a bell…. I was alone in the room kneeling at the couch praying, and I sensed the presence of another person in the room. Assuming it was Julie, I turned around and I couldn’t see anyone there.  I got up and just went into the bedroom where Jules was in bed,  I asked her if she had come into the room ? She said she did not. So weird, I went back to the lounge and went back to praying again.  Again I sensed this presence. And turned around again, and still no one there to be seen. I was a little freaked out about this, so I sat up on the couch and continued praying again, and again the presence of someone was in the room with me. I peaked a look and saw no one, but still felt this presence, it was then that I realized I was having a supernatural encounter ….I never wanted that time that night to stop. It was a visitation of the “most high kind.” And it blessed me to my very core of my being. My prayer life changed dramatically after that.

* It was around the time of the above events that I yearned for a deeper spiritual experience. I went down to the Mullaloo beach in WA to pray. It was around 8pm at night, it was dark except for the car park lights etc. and I was alone, no one else was there…  anyway I knew I needed to confess and repent of much and I did this, and emptied myself out of everything I knew that I had done wrong, and then I asked God to fill me with His Spirit.  I longed for the things of the Holy Spirit, whatever God wanted to do in me and through me. I felt overwhelming peace and joy. Finishing up I hopped in the car and drove the short 5 kms home… as I drove home I was so full of joy, I started to praise  God and a strange language started to come out of my mouth, I had no idea what it was, however I knew that I was praying in a  new language that God had put inside me. It was outrageous.  So very good. 

(I have 2 more experiences that I will share with you… there are many many more that still continue in my life to this day, but these 2 experiences were huge in my life.)

* In 1996, Julie and I commenced our ministry as Pastors/Corps Officers in a little town in Tasmania called Carlton.  It is situated on the Tasman Peninsula and it is a very isolated little town where TSA had planted a church and we had taken over as second generation planters. 4 months in, it was April 28th, a quiet Sunday afternoon, after church, and I received a phone call which would change my world view and life forever. A bloke had gone crazy at Port Arthur ( my area) and had killed dozens of people and TSA was requested to be present at the command centre to provide support for emergency services and media  etc. I was activated and sent as Chaplain on duty for that event with my team, who were there to provide meals support for a very long night ahead. I wont go into the tragic details of that other than to say it was scary, and as I drove to Port Arthur that Sunday afternoon, I remember feeling much angst. You will all know the event …it was one of the very worst in Australia history. Over the following weeks I was called on many times to revisit the area and spend time with people who were traumatized by this. ( who wouldn’t be) One day as I drove the back roads heading to the site, I remember praying …”Lord what am I suppose to say to these people “, I felt so very weak and inadequate… It was Gods response to me that blew me away… firstly He promised to give me the right words and then He gave me a sign of His presence…. 2 wedge tail eagles appeared next to my car, just hovering 20 meters off the ground very close to me.  I pulled over and just sat there watching them, and sensing God say to me I am with you, I will help you, I will always be with you…I felt my confidence rise (like an eagle) I felt like I had received eagle vision… and eagle courage to face whatever was coming my way.  It may sound weird to you, but for me, eagles have always shown up in my life since that day, when I am facing change, fear, or struggle, or looking for some sense of God in choices and decisions I need to make.  To this day, If I am facing “something larger than myself” an eagle inevitably will show up, just for a fleeting second, and God still speaks to me today through the presence of an eagle in my circumstance at that specific time. It is wonderful to be reminded of His presence in this way. I love it that God has done this for me…I don't worship eagles, but gosh they help me worship God when they arrive.

* This is not the only thing God has done for me, however this one will be the last one I share in this post. There was a time in my life when in Tassie that the supernatural encounters were incredibly big around us. so let me tell you about the angels on my car.

It’s a fairly long complicated story and some of my friends will know this story, as I have spoken it before. However I will give you a summarized version of what happened. One of my friends and colleague officers had an accident on his bike. He was tragically hit by a car near the Hobart Airport on a road that you had to take to get to the city from our home. On the day he was hit, that night, he was planning to lead a family in the Christianity Explained course to help them understand all about Jesus.   Needless to say Terry was in hospital in a coma. And he never did the course.  The next day, Terry died, and it was horrible for us all. Left me with many questions that took years for answers. Everytime I drove through that part of the road after that, I felt uneasy, sadly the chalk marks on the road were there for a very long time. As time went on, this family started to attend my church, and a conversation was had around whether they had ever eventually done Christianity explained. They said they had not, so I arranged a night to come to their place and do this with them.

When the day arrived I awoke very nervous and wondered whether I might also face  a tragic accident, (it’s a bigger story than what I can tell here.) well I prayed and God spoke to me that He would send angels to protect me. 

So when evening came, I got in my car, backed out of the driveway and started my journey to this families home, and there on the bonnet of my car sat two very large angels just sitting there. They were dressed in fighting armor.  I couldn’t believe what I saw. As I drove the 40 kms to this families home, I had to pass over that part of the road. As I approached it, the angels stood up on my car in a position of defence ….as I drove through the part of the road, and then when through it they sat down …and I continued my journey.

The night went well and this whole family gave their hearts to Jesus that night.  As I hopped back in the car to drive home, the angels were still there. All the way until I got home, and then they just vanished.

I will never ever forget that night, and as much as time has tried to convince me this never happened. It really truly did  and I praise God for His provision in my life. Yes there are questions, that I can never answer. and I am not sure I need to.

These are just some of the things God has done in my life over these past years of ministry and my spiritual journey and I hope by sharing these with you, you might consider putting your trust in Jesus and allowing Him to do greater things in your life also.

He loves you.  

Believe it or not.

* if you would like some assistance in how to follow Jesus, please comment or email me or facebook me etc and I will gladly help you to discover who Jesus is and can be in your life.

Haven’t done this in a while.

It’s not that I forgot to blog, but I forgot to blog ….. lol.

It’s been 2 years since my last blog and a lot has happened in my life since then, a heck of a lot.

Over the past years I have learned so much about myself, and so if you are interested to read about it and maybe even reflect upon your own life, its not a bad thing to often reflect, “audit” if you like, your life and decisions and choices.

A very long time ago I felt the call of God upon my life. It was a call into ministry as a Pastor/Officer in the Salvation Army. It was a call into helping people to find meaning and purpose… to find hope in God.  

It has never changed … it has involved leading people to find peace and hope, and I have never stopped doing that, even in my ministry within Ambulance Victoria, whilst it wasn't so evangelistic in its approach at AV, it nevertheless was the same inside me. And when I had the chance to speak about God, of course that is exactly what I did.

Having said that, a time eventually came when my values and ethics were tested to the degree in which I had to make a choice around those ethics and values and whether I would compromise that ….

and I would not compromise that. 

So after 50 years of working, I find myself unemployed….at an age where I have vast amounts of experience and a little bit of wisdom and some skills ….but also at an age where I am maybe, just maybe…too old for work. ( well not exactly as I have some things in the pipeline right now)

And so …soul searching, second guessing my decisions, worry about finances, concerns over my immediate future, and questioning the God stuff in my life and whether I have been disobedient to that calling, but also observing peoples view of me, and the associated pain that comes from feeling unvalued or unrecognized for all that you have already achieved. ( and there is much)

These things affect you… deeply. Well they have me. And I have had many sleepless nights, and fears and feelings of deep disappointment.

And then of course, the potential new roles arrive and you have to make a choice over what is best for yourself, and your family.

I am still pondering this.

So what do you do , when you find yourself in a situation like this ?

I cant tell anyone else what to do, but I can tell you what I did and am doing.

I never once stopped praying. I prayed every day for peace and clarity and for God’s direction in my life. I prayed that maybe God hadn’t finished with me just yet, and I know He has not.

I sought professional help from a psychologist and my GP to help me gain clarity and perspective. It was my psych, who reminded me to pray when I couldn’t sleep at night.

I talked it out with friends and family, and then I waited. I sensed that a time off work was needed and so no work for over 2 months.  But a few things have been achieved in that time, around home and in my personal life. A season if you like.

Let’s not underestimate  the pain of rejection, or being devalued, or unrecognized or feeling forgotten.

Don’t ever downplay what that is in your life, because for absolute certainty I can tell you that, the pain of these things goes very deep in a persons soul.

I am reminded of scripture that tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Yet I am also reminded that God sees me for who I truly am and not what others may think of me.

God is described this way as El Roi…The God who sees me, who knows me and who loves me with a love I can never truly grasp. 

The problem we humans have is we seek recognition, we seek approval and affirmation and we seek it from our peers. And when it doesn’t come, and it often doesnt, in my experience, then we tend to flounder in our own feelings of failure. Simply because others couldn’t seem to care for or affirm us.

If you feel like that ? This is common to many and certainly I have felt it…..which has caused me to ask God where are you, only for Him to respond by saying I see you, I know… I love you still.

Is it enough ? Well it should be ….and it needs to be.. truthfully though, we still seek to hear it from those around us as well.

So for me, as I start to see a way ahead, for my life and the next stage of my ministry. I pray that God will be pleased with me. That He can still use me, in these latter stages of my human life.

That God may be glorified in and through my work and life itself.

These are my thoughts about my life these days.

Can I ask you ? When was the last time you took stock of where things are at for your life ?

The choices you are making,  the decisions, the values and ethics you live your life by. ?

It might be a difficult thing to do, it was for me. 

And If I may…

Whilst I don’t know who actually reads this blog, at last count 82,000+ people have read my blog entries over the years, 

Can I attempt to remind you….that regardless of the ways in which you may have been hurt by the church, or by work colleagues, or family or friends…. God knows you, maybe even better than you know yourself.

You may feel that life is dishing up struggle and pain, and that the future doesn't look that super good.

God, “El Roi” is as close as a whisper away and if you will whisper to Him your need of Him and His ways in your life, He will add peace into your soul.

 And strength and courage into your being.