Retirement… what does it all mean ? Does it mean nothing ? I wonder what everyone else who has ever retired before me has felt ? (Maybe you could put your thoughts in the comments) but as I have semi retired I am faced with a whole pile of questions that I have no answers for as yet.
I am still actively supporting CityLife church in coordinating their weekend volunteers, an awesome bunch of people, a few hundred of them….and now face the really big question of my life, has everything I have done in my life counted for anything ?
Now before everyone preaches at me, Yes I know it has been for the Lord and I really believe that during my ministry life I have tried to serve Him to the best of my ability and capacity. And I may never know the eternal effects of that, however I still feel this sense of …”so what” in my heart and mind, and thats really hard to come to terms with. (It kind of follows on from my last blog entry)
So what now…??? Looking at the state of the world right now, with wars escalating, fuel security in our own nation at risk, which of course will flow into food supply and everything else…the whole world feels really quite stuffed up right now.
And then I look at my life, new job opportunities on the horizon, full retirement age fast approaching, meaning that end of human life also fast approaches and watching everything going on around me, with people around me making “interesting” choices… and I find myself wondering….what is the point of everything ? Or anything ? Will the choices we each make, have any serious consequence for our own lives and for those we dearly love around us ?
The writer in the bible …states it as everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. He might have been onto something hey ? Perhaps he was feeling what I am feeling.
We seem to prioritize stuff that really has no future or sense of anything ! We live for the here and now and when the here and now is disrupted by some crazy people doing crazy things overseas by starting wars. One must question why even do that ? What has it achieved ?
I am not a doomsday person, in fact I still have my whole hope in Jesus Christ and His kingdom…however on this earth …apart from worshipping Him and serving Him and helping others to serve Him and honour Him, what is the point ? We save our money to buy nice things, and we all do, and I do, but when I am gone, what then ? Who will even want my model car collection ? Lol.
All is not doom and gloom I understand that… but think about this scenario…
I have a $50,000 car sitting in my garage, it is a beautiful car, but if I listen to the experts, there may be no fuel for it in 40 days. If there is no fuel for my car, then my car is useless and of no value whatsoever.
It will be of no value, who would even want to be able to buy a car that cant go anywhere without fuel.
Think I will buy a bike.
Maybe as I am getting older and seeing the end in sight, maybe I am becoming cynical and negative, or maybe I am just thinking the worst. It is hard when the media paints such a rotten picture of what lays ahead.
I don't know what you think about life, I am sure grappling with it these days.
But it comes down to worldview and perspective….our perspective in Australia would be very different to those in Iran and Israel right now. This isn’t a post about who is right or wrong, just a note about perspective. My worldview is based on what I have done, what I have seen, what I have experienced in my life so far and what I hope to still see. I am not so worried about missiles dropping from the sky, or worried about the shortage of toilet paper…
I think what does concern me right now, is that my life has counted for something, for someone. That I have not wasted all my life chasing the wind and meaningless activity.
That the things I have lived for, and preached for over 30 years plus, have actually helped and that in the long run, I may have contributed to something of substance for the earth and for the King of Kings.
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* Please remember, my blog is just a space for me to share my thoughts and feelings about life as I see it.
I hope one day that Jesus might say to me… “well done Gaz, you did good “
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