ICO 8 - The Lessons of ICO ( Final)

It's all over, ( well nearly )..... just a bible study and the final ceremonies...and that is it for session 224.

I can barely believe it. AND actually in some ways I am quite sad.

Now before I get too far into this blog, I am happy to be catching up with Jules and being reunited and then travelling home, I love my family and miss them more than words can express. So..let's be clear about that, but I am going to miss this experience and the new friendships I have formed.

every night at the end of our ICO progran we would share in what we called the "Tunnocks Lounge", these were amazing nights of bonding and chatting and recounting the days activities, laughing often til we could laugh no more.... eating Tunnocks chocolates, drinking coffee, and just being around each other. This was very very good. and I will miss it. (more than words can say)

Lesson 1: I havent laughed as much as this in years, perhaps I had forgotten how to laugh ? Maybe... it certainly feels like I havent laughed very much in recent years. This has caused something in me to be broken. And it feels good. I need to laugh a lot more than I do. (maybe you do too)

the classroom stuff for me ...personally, I am glad its over... not because the teaching was bad, or the lecturers were "OFF", but because I am unable..incapable, of absorbing anymore into my brain. Its full. My head is full, my heart is full.

Lesson 2: I have gained some very clear insights into my future, I am better equipped than before. I had become depleted and had lost motivation and drive. This has changed. I sense change is in the air, for me..and the new found energy and passion will fuel that for many years to come. I have also gained some new disciplines and skills to enable me to be more proactive in what I do and where I do it. This is also very good.

It's very easy to play the blame game, you know..you most likely do it, as I have I. But we tend to try and find someone else to blame for the shortcomings in our lives. If things dont go well, we look for some one to hang that on. We can often not take responsibility for our own actions or failures,or weakness. Even now, some who are reading my blog here will be quick to say, you are right Gary, you got it wrong here or there... and I think I did, You might be right. However, I have also learned some key aspects about this Blame Game stuff and where it leaves us when we start blaming others for something we could have rectified ourselves. If we had the guts enough to stand up and be counted and made the choice to become a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem, then most likely things may have changed quicker.

Lesson 3: Own up to my weaknesses and failures and look to others to assist in the gap areas. AND stop blaming everyone or anyone else for the problems. I choose to stand up and be counted. AND in fact, I want my next stage of my officership to count more than the first 20 years or so. And even if someone doesnt trust me, believe in me, respect me, or think that I am capable of what I have been asked to do...I will still do what The Lord God has asked of me to do. And who He asked me to be. It's not an option to not do so.

I am fearful of losing ground when I return. I dont want t go back to where I used to be. I am new. Things in my mind and heart are new. I have turned some big corners here at Sunbury Court. I am not the same as when I arrived. I have mates and supports in my life that were not there before. I have travelled a very lonely road for a very long time, and thought I was surviving... but I was barely making it, its a wonder I didnt cave in way before now. But I have some key people in my life now, who I know have accepted me as I am, and walked and talked with me for 6 weeks now and I have them as supports and they have me.God doesn't expect us to be islands.

Lesson 4: Allow these trusted people to continue the journey and make sure that ongoing support is in place more than before. This will be difficult with time differences, but it is crucial to ongoing health and viability for me as a leader. ( and maybe for them as well)

I have valued what God has been doing in my heart and mind. My mates have helped me in that. As has the College Staff. But today it occurred to me, that I dont think I can take anymore. I am full up. I have asked God in prayer for many things and I now expect to see those answers. I expect to see miracles happen in my family and in my ministry and my personal life. I have been reminded of what God started in me many years ago, how He equipped me with spiritual gifts to do the task in His Kingdom, and I have become aware of new gifts in my life that I never knew had changed.

(this next bit is not a boast, but a statement of my faith)

I have been through many experiences in ministry that most havent. I have faced death in massacres, in close ministry colleagues and in children that should have never died. Doing their funerals was more difficult than anyone can imagine.

I planted a church and stuck at it for 12 years while it grew slowly year by year. I learned how to lead, even the hard way...I have made countless mistakes along the way, and seen what it is to trust, but I have also seen what it is to not trust. I have sat in teams that grew and stretched me and they grew and were stretched as well. I have had some fantastic ministry friends long the way, and yet I have also learned that Jesus is the key person that we must depend upon.

I have led a strong Salvo youth ministry, 8 years in fact... it was huge in my younger years for shaping my values.

I am not a young inexperienced leader, I am the oldest leader/delegate here at ICO224. I am not stupid. I know what I am doing. God is using me and has better plans for my life still. I do still believe that the very best ministry days in my life are still ahead of me and I intend to claim them and live them out to the best of my ability.

So as I sign off on these ICO blogs.... I am going to miss this place. I love London and I could live here easily. I will never forget this experience. It has changed me forever. I will never be the same again.

I will never forget the people who made up session 224. we are now being written into the history books of this place, no doubt some of these people will become Commissioners and senior Army leaders in the world. and when they do... the Salvation Army world will be in good safe hands. They are Godly leaders with tremendous hearts and love. They are true, sincere and faithful Godly people.

and God has not finished with us in TSA yet.

and God has not finished with me just yet.

My best days are still waiting to be lived out.

(maybe yours too)

and Finally, I doubt that I will ever be able to sing the song:

"They shall come from the east and from the west " ever again without crying very deeply inside my soul.

(that' s a very long deep personal story for another day)

When we all get to heaven what a joy it will be to sit down together in the Kingdom of heaven at the feet of our God and bask in His glory forever more.

Cant wait for that day.

 

 

 

 

 

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