This one will no doubt get me into trouble !!! Sorry !
As the title suggest this blog entry may get me into trouble, and I don't want to be in trouble, but was so challenged last week by what I observed and felt in my spirit that I sensed I just needed to write it out really.
So a few disclaimers.
It's not about you personally.... And it's not about my girls....it is a generalization, and if the truth of it affects you, then please deal with it somehow yes, but don't be angry at me for sensing what God is saying to me. If I were to be truthful, the best way to describe this blog, is.... It's about me, and my relationships with my parents.
So here goes......
This blog is about my thoughts on abandoned kids. (in ministry and beyond)
I guess it never really happened to me so much, as I was too young, my parents were officers also when I was very young..... but what does a kid do when their parents abandon them ? Or move away from them ? Or in ministry they are removed from the church where everyone seemingly is happy as family ?
I got to thinking about it and it made my heart sad..... I watched a young officer's kid last week at church as she worshipped and wondered how she was feeling inside... She seemed sad her parents were not there, they had moved away.
Some Officers Kids (OK's) or Pastors Kids (PK's) are resilient and seem able to move on in life when things move away from the normal. But some OK's are not as resilient as others and they flounder, they have to deal with the "new guy" and the criticisms that go with the job (of their parents), as well as things they have held true from their parents, being changed and adjusted when the new bloke turns up. This must surely hurt deep down, and I have noticed that in many cases it hurts .."Some"
so deeply they end up leaving church all together. And sadly turning from God as well.
My Parents were Officers and were forced out of the ministry when I was very young. My mum had become very unwell and couldn't continue, so they were left with no choice but to resign so that mum could heal without any pressure whatsoever.
I don't remember too much about it, I was around 6 years old, but I did sense over the subsequent years, my fathers disappointment at not being in ministry anymore in such a way. Perhaps he felt it more than I did, - but he was super proud of both Kevin (my oldest brother) and Myself when we became officers in this Salvation Army. ( he was proud of my other brother and sister also I know that ...). But I sensed in him over the years a deep thing, hard to describe about his departure from active salvo ministry.
What does a kid do when their parents are moved away and things change in the church they attend ?
What I noticed was something that affected my heart.... I am not sure I want to speak here why it affected me so deeply, but it did and I sensed in the OK... That she was true to Jesus no matter what her parents were doing or not doing anymore.
I think that's what I want for my life now that my parents are in heaven....
Not to live to please them or to appease anyone else for that matter, but to live for my Father in heaven who has called me, and all of us, by our name. And He didn't call us by OUR name because we were OK's, but because He loves us for who we are...as individuals, with personality and character and even with all our warts, He loves us for who we are and not who our parents were or are.
I guess the sadness I felt as I observed this young lady ...maybe triggered a sadness in me over my own parents, not sure.
.............................................................................................
Oh how I would love to just sit with mum and dad and "chew the fat" about life, ministry, my hurts and failures and victories and fun... My hopes and dreams as well as my fears and hurts, and just allow their love to be experienced one more time.
That is impossible for me I know as they are in heaven... But it sure made me think about the life I still live and how I live it. And who I really live it for.... And it's not them really....it's HIM.
I don't know if any of this makes any sense to anyone at all reading it... But there was something brewing inside me last week as I just noticed all this going on around me in worship.
So as I conclude this blog, Iguess I wanted to say, that life is about living it to the max, not to satisfy our physical needs, but to live it out with our souls in mind, a soul connection with Father God as His kids.
Church is just an expression of that in the here and now.
If you are an OK or a PK...and even if you are not, Can I encourage you to find focus, not on your parents faith, but on your own faith... Don't let the people around you hurt you into abandoning that belief in your heart and soul, but rather see that God in heaven loves you and calls you by your name to join with Him and to serve Him here on the earth, and to experience the deep peace of that soul relationship with Him, right here, and right now.
I know that some OKs have turned away from faith because of how their parents were treated ...
Don't let it mess with your soul, Jesus loves you for who YOU are...
And He has your parents "back" - its ok.
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
We are all weak, but He is strong.
YES, Jesus loves us !
So a few disclaimers.
It's not about you personally.... And it's not about my girls....it is a generalization, and if the truth of it affects you, then please deal with it somehow yes, but don't be angry at me for sensing what God is saying to me. If I were to be truthful, the best way to describe this blog, is.... It's about me, and my relationships with my parents.
So here goes......
This blog is about my thoughts on abandoned kids. (in ministry and beyond)
I guess it never really happened to me so much, as I was too young, my parents were officers also when I was very young..... but what does a kid do when their parents abandon them ? Or move away from them ? Or in ministry they are removed from the church where everyone seemingly is happy as family ?
I got to thinking about it and it made my heart sad..... I watched a young officer's kid last week at church as she worshipped and wondered how she was feeling inside... She seemed sad her parents were not there, they had moved away.
Some Officers Kids (OK's) or Pastors Kids (PK's) are resilient and seem able to move on in life when things move away from the normal. But some OK's are not as resilient as others and they flounder, they have to deal with the "new guy" and the criticisms that go with the job (of their parents), as well as things they have held true from their parents, being changed and adjusted when the new bloke turns up. This must surely hurt deep down, and I have noticed that in many cases it hurts .."Some"
so deeply they end up leaving church all together. And sadly turning from God as well.
My Parents were Officers and were forced out of the ministry when I was very young. My mum had become very unwell and couldn't continue, so they were left with no choice but to resign so that mum could heal without any pressure whatsoever.
I don't remember too much about it, I was around 6 years old, but I did sense over the subsequent years, my fathers disappointment at not being in ministry anymore in such a way. Perhaps he felt it more than I did, - but he was super proud of both Kevin (my oldest brother) and Myself when we became officers in this Salvation Army. ( he was proud of my other brother and sister also I know that ...). But I sensed in him over the years a deep thing, hard to describe about his departure from active salvo ministry.
What does a kid do when their parents are moved away and things change in the church they attend ?
What I noticed was something that affected my heart.... I am not sure I want to speak here why it affected me so deeply, but it did and I sensed in the OK... That she was true to Jesus no matter what her parents were doing or not doing anymore.
I think that's what I want for my life now that my parents are in heaven....
Not to live to please them or to appease anyone else for that matter, but to live for my Father in heaven who has called me, and all of us, by our name. And He didn't call us by OUR name because we were OK's, but because He loves us for who we are...as individuals, with personality and character and even with all our warts, He loves us for who we are and not who our parents were or are.
I guess the sadness I felt as I observed this young lady ...maybe triggered a sadness in me over my own parents, not sure.
.............................................................................................
Oh how I would love to just sit with mum and dad and "chew the fat" about life, ministry, my hurts and failures and victories and fun... My hopes and dreams as well as my fears and hurts, and just allow their love to be experienced one more time.
That is impossible for me I know as they are in heaven... But it sure made me think about the life I still live and how I live it. And who I really live it for.... And it's not them really....it's HIM.
I don't know if any of this makes any sense to anyone at all reading it... But there was something brewing inside me last week as I just noticed all this going on around me in worship.
So as I conclude this blog, Iguess I wanted to say, that life is about living it to the max, not to satisfy our physical needs, but to live it out with our souls in mind, a soul connection with Father God as His kids.
Church is just an expression of that in the here and now.
If you are an OK or a PK...and even if you are not, Can I encourage you to find focus, not on your parents faith, but on your own faith... Don't let the people around you hurt you into abandoning that belief in your heart and soul, but rather see that God in heaven loves you and calls you by your name to join with Him and to serve Him here on the earth, and to experience the deep peace of that soul relationship with Him, right here, and right now.
I know that some OKs have turned away from faith because of how their parents were treated ...
Don't let it mess with your soul, Jesus loves you for who YOU are...
And He has your parents "back" - its ok.
Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
We are all weak, but He is strong.
YES, Jesus loves us !
I remember reading an article in The Officer many years ago about the pain some officers were feeling on this issue. We raise our children and prepare them to leave home but for Officers sometimes you are the ones who leave home and leave your kids behind.
ReplyDeleteAnd that's tough.
God's peace to you brother.