The Alone...Me (Part 6)

It's been a pretty interesting week, not all good...but not all bad either.

a few things that have happened this week, messed with my head and heart.... but God still rules my heart and I am trusting Him to get me through.

whilst Jules freezes in the UK... snow everywhere, and we prepare ourselves to join her... now in just a few weeks, I guess I am hoping that the snow and big freeze in Europe doesn't affect our plans too much.

The blogs of the last couple of weeks have been great stories, the brothel ministry, the stories of Freedom and Jeff and then , well there are the eagles that I have been seeing nearly everyday for the past week or so.

so where am I at ?                  I am ok...thanks for asking...lol,
but God is deeply at work in me , He has been for a few weeks now.

I am starting to settle for what lays before me,( or maybe what I think lays before me) and a part of me is ready to embrace that... as scary as it is to even say it, I am ......( I think)

I want to be where God wants me to be.

I don't want to be, where He doesn't want me to be.

I will be useless  in any area outside of His will, and its pointless anyway.

When you surrender to God it means surrender...His ways over yours, His plans not your own,  

His purposes not your preferences.

Someone ( actually good friends, Phil and Cath)  reminded me the other day about embracing God as Sovereign ruler of my life, and I have taken that to my heart and am willing to let that be true of me.

If He is sovereign then it matters not, what man does.... because if God is sovereign then He over rules all things, and then we can live in trust of that divine plan. and that's actually where I am at, in some ways.

Now don't misunderstand this or take it the wrong way... it has no agenda or  innuendo.... its just me expressing my heart...  its part of what I grapple with these days.


I know a lot of people talk about us at Craigieburn, and how long we have been here and all that Army politics stuff... 

so hear it from me here first....

I have no visions of grandeur... in fact in many ways I don't think I am good enough for too much more than what I have and currently am......
 
I don't aspire to greatness in man's eyes,

neither do I want any particular role or other....

I don't want change for changes sake,

neither do I want to stay put for staying put's sake....lol

I haven't been asked to move ( just yet)  all I have been asked to do is work hard here....

what I want, and all I want...is to serve my King, wherever He wants  for me, whenever He wants for me, and whatever it is. 

I don't really want anything else.


I have much to do still at 3064 and pray that I will get it done.

I desire to serve Him here well...and good and well until He positions me some place else.

I am unique ( we all are )  I have tried my best at planting this church, and in some ways its been successful, but in many other ways it just hasn't measured up to all I had dreamt it would be..... that tells me that I have a lot more work still left to do right here.. 

some will read between the lines here....and you needn't do that....   there is nothing to say other than God is at work inside my heart and mind and soul and ...probably just like you, there is much improvement and work still needed  before He can use me anywhere or everywhere else.

many have criticized Craigieburn in one way or another, but we have tried to just do, what God asked us to do.  it is not finished, in some ways it hasn't even yet begun.

so all this stuff goes on inside this "alone me".....

what is God doing in you ?

what are you asking Him to do in you ? anything ?

I will take God's surgery on my heart any day....over a lay down in Satan's lounge room.

I pray my life blesses many and leads many to Jesus Christ.

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