Brengle...5,6,7...
Days 5 and 6 were quiet days at Brengle...Day 5 a day of sabbath rest, which was welcomed by all, I spent the day in Geelong, and resting...and sharing dinner with a good friend, Thanks Doug.
Day 6, was a day of silent retreat which was also a good day,
sadly for me it was shattered when I heard the news that my beloved dog( my pet of 17 years at home) was very sick and needed to be put to sleep.
for me personally, I was very sad on a few fronts, that Julie and the girls had to deal with it, without me,and that I couldn't really say goodbye to him physically.
He has been our pet dog ever since we left college, and it just leaves me feeling a little flat and yep...sad.
I don't care what anyone else thinks about it, he was a special part of our family for so long... I will place a picture up somewhere (either facebook or here on my blog) of him, when I get back to my computer at the office.
life is like that though isn't it ?
its not always on top of the mountain tops, sometimes...its deep valleys, and for our family this week we say farewell to one of our family... and we go through a valley of grief and loss for our dog. ( our fluffy )
------------------------------------------ :(
So that brings me to Day 7...today.
what did I learn today ? what is my take away today ?
"you take care of the depth of your influence, and God will take care of the breadth of your influence"
my relationship with God is all I need to be holy.... how deep I go is up to me, I love this quote above, and I am unsure of who exactly said it, but its great ....all I have to do is deal with the depth and God will widen my influence, I think it may be possible that I may have had this back to front in my ministry, worrying more about the breadth than the depth... (this will change in me)
and finally, there will be a few changes in me, the depth, breadth thing is one.... but I became aware today of some other very personal areas that I want to see change.
my self evaluation and self talk around my colleagues is another area where I feel a need to develop and mature and I am going to allow God to take me deeper in that area.
its very personal, and I wondered whether to share it or not, and have decided to do so, hoping it may help some other officer or pastor who struggles with the same.
I have had a tendency over many years now to see myself as "too young and weak or inexperienced" when in comparison to older more experienced officers in service than I.
and God came to me today, reminding me, that "He has called me"...I am not stupid, I need to remain humble and not on some ego trip, but that I actually have something worthy and worthwhile to contribute, and that He is going to use me in areas that will surprise even myself . He has promised to never leave me or leave me alone...He will always be with me. That in itself makes me pretty strong.
My thinking has been imposed by my self talk.... that seeks to say to myself, that I am nowhere near as good or smart as others, and that doesnt devalue others, but rather damages all the good that God has already done in me already. He reminded me that I have much to bring to the table... He also reminded me, I am not young anymore... that makes me laugh. ( I already know that I am getting old)
There will alwasy be those in the Kingdom who are smarter and more experienced than I, AND...there will always be those in the Kingdom who are less experienced and mature, than what I am "still" becoming.
it's just all a big "HOLY" journey and I am on it and in it and God wants me to get on with it.
so that's what I am gonna do.
maybe you can just get on with it too....
Day 6, was a day of silent retreat which was also a good day,
sadly for me it was shattered when I heard the news that my beloved dog( my pet of 17 years at home) was very sick and needed to be put to sleep.
for me personally, I was very sad on a few fronts, that Julie and the girls had to deal with it, without me,and that I couldn't really say goodbye to him physically.
He has been our pet dog ever since we left college, and it just leaves me feeling a little flat and yep...sad.
I don't care what anyone else thinks about it, he was a special part of our family for so long... I will place a picture up somewhere (either facebook or here on my blog) of him, when I get back to my computer at the office.
life is like that though isn't it ?
its not always on top of the mountain tops, sometimes...its deep valleys, and for our family this week we say farewell to one of our family... and we go through a valley of grief and loss for our dog. ( our fluffy )
------------------------------------------ :(
So that brings me to Day 7...today.
what did I learn today ? what is my take away today ?
"you take care of the depth of your influence, and God will take care of the breadth of your influence"
my relationship with God is all I need to be holy.... how deep I go is up to me, I love this quote above, and I am unsure of who exactly said it, but its great ....all I have to do is deal with the depth and God will widen my influence, I think it may be possible that I may have had this back to front in my ministry, worrying more about the breadth than the depth... (this will change in me)
and finally, there will be a few changes in me, the depth, breadth thing is one.... but I became aware today of some other very personal areas that I want to see change.
my self evaluation and self talk around my colleagues is another area where I feel a need to develop and mature and I am going to allow God to take me deeper in that area.
its very personal, and I wondered whether to share it or not, and have decided to do so, hoping it may help some other officer or pastor who struggles with the same.
I have had a tendency over many years now to see myself as "too young and weak or inexperienced" when in comparison to older more experienced officers in service than I.
and God came to me today, reminding me, that "He has called me"...I am not stupid, I need to remain humble and not on some ego trip, but that I actually have something worthy and worthwhile to contribute, and that He is going to use me in areas that will surprise even myself . He has promised to never leave me or leave me alone...He will always be with me. That in itself makes me pretty strong.
My thinking has been imposed by my self talk.... that seeks to say to myself, that I am nowhere near as good or smart as others, and that doesnt devalue others, but rather damages all the good that God has already done in me already. He reminded me that I have much to bring to the table... He also reminded me, I am not young anymore... that makes me laugh. ( I already know that I am getting old)
There will alwasy be those in the Kingdom who are smarter and more experienced than I, AND...there will always be those in the Kingdom who are less experienced and mature, than what I am "still" becoming.
it's just all a big "HOLY" journey and I am on it and in it and God wants me to get on with it.
so that's what I am gonna do.
maybe you can just get on with it too....
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