ICO 3

A few things are happening within me at the moment, one of them is the incredible feeling of inadequacy as well as unworthiness.

The ICO experience and journey is now 11 days into a 40 day process. Today we had a day off and I had chance to just be alone and ponder myself, and what God is doing inside me, and I am pleased with what God is doing in me. It needs to be done.

The truth is I feel a whole pile of things, some will be completely misunderstood if I mention them, but for this blog to make sense I need to mention them....

I am called to be an Officer in The Salvation Army, this has been reinforced in and confimred again in me and I needed that. In previous years, this has been knocked around a bit, I dont know why I allowed that to happen, but it did.

My Calling is key in my life, and whilst not everyone around me understands that, or agrees with my style of ministry and passions and thoughts and methods, my last 18 years or so of ministry have proven a few things, but also... I am being reminded that God is still Calling me to His Work and the enemy of the Cross is trying his darndest to destroy that Calling, and distract me and divide my spirit and life purpose.

I sense that the way things are currently may not remain the same. I am excited by what I see here in London. I am excited by what I see in other Officers who are doing ICO with me from all around the world,reminding me that the Ministry and work of this great Salvation Army with in excess of one million soldiers worldwide is vastly different to what I have already experienced so far in my life. With huge massive growth occurring in Africa these days... nearly 40% of our soldiers are in Africa...

well all I can say Lord, do with me what You will and where you will it to be.

When you ( I ) go through what I am going through you become aware of the frustrations and failures that a person can go through. When people choose to stay stagnant and stifled and stuck, it is incredibly frustrating when you see other places and people just going off - for Jesus. And you once again realize that you still have such vast spiritual distance to travel. I do. I am pleased to recognise and ackowledge it.

But I have also observed that some cant see it in themselves, and then are critical of others...complaining when things dont go their way, or their apple cart is rattled. This too is not acceptable. This is a generalised statement that I have observed over 19 years of ministry.

I still feel that The Salvation Army was raised by God for specific purpose.

We are Called to be His people, to be a people who Pray... Worship... read the Bible... and these things are paramount before anything else.

When you are praying with officers from all around the world in a worldwide prayer meeting, it doesn't leave you the same.

I dont ever want to go back to what I was.... ever !!!!

There are a few things I am going to reclaim for my life and ministry, it is in process already and God is doing it in me.

I am excited... but at the same time fearful, that I could just slip back into the routine and go back to where things have been in the past.

I am on a huge journey, and in some ways it is very painful, as spiritual surgery is being done in my heart at the moment.

..... tbc......

 

 

 

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