Gary Grant

This blog post is intensely personal, for it is what God is doing inside my soul. firstly; I am convinced that the only way God could do this in me, was to get me alone.  its not that Julie is a distraction, its probably a lot more to do with me than her... for in the nights when I go to sleep alone, come home after a long day at church and just want to unpack my thoughts and debrief...she is not there, only God and me.  and that's ok. inside my soul, I am changing, I can feel it...its tangible what I feel.........never in my wildest imagination did I expect God to do this in me...now... I did think He would do it in Jules while she was away and He is...but didn't expect  the treatment my soul is getting. It is a mixture of these following words and phrases: turmoil yet peaceful deeply satisfying yet also incredibly unsettling I am fearful yet also confident I feel anxious but yet also not I am being affirmed reminded of His grace feel totally inadequate also tot

Every few days ...I realise that I am alone... I hope that you are not being bored by all my stuff here but whilst Jules is in London learning heaps, I am also learning heaps..  I guess if you are bored and  are not interested in my stuff, then you dont have to read this do you ... lol. truthfully, Sundays are the worst.  I hate it when Jules is not around, and last Sunday was particularly difficult, and must be  honest I found myself having shed a tear or two.    (a bit of a softy I am) I am pleased she is doing well and enjoying herself and making new friends and connecting with the Lord. I am also pleased with what He is doing in me. today...as I opened the church gates I glanced up and there 50 meters up, an eagle gently gilded over the church carpark, and within seconds was gone. ( perfect timing... it is always this way when God sends me an eagle) now anyone who really knows me, knows the significance of this for me . Whenever I see an Eagle...it has always been 100%

I realized today that I am around 5 weeks away from joining Jules in London. That will be very special. She appears to be doing very ok, ( guess I am thinking she may be doing too well ) lol. She is having a blast and said she is learning heaps, things I didn't even know they did at ICO, that's great, she is such a legend and I love her dearly. So about the alone me... Satan has been throwing everything he has got at me, it's interesting, but I am standing strong. It's been one of the busiest weeks of the year...so Far for me.... All our mid week meetings re convened this week and as well as some new meetings to attend, it's been busy. I know a few things new are happening for me personally, I doubt that God may have got my attention if I were not alone, and He is using this time to refine me. I am grateful for it. I feel stronger today, it's been a ok week, and for me, I saw an eagle this week, that is significant for me in the scheme of things i

Week 2... hmmm.. well I miss her, and it was made more obvious yesterday at church when the senior woman of the house was absent. I knew she did a lot, but  that's not what I miss so much as I just miss the support she is, her presence.  But here's the thing, she deserves what is happening for her in London,  and I do not begrudge her that in anyway, in fact I am proud of her .. so here is what I have learned this week for me... A few things went haywire this past week which caused me to reflect on decisions I will need to make in the future.   And some decisions that really, only I can make, for myself. For each of us, we make choices, that effect our future...and effect those around us.  For me that has become heightened because I am alone and  need to make decisions.... that normally would be discussed with Jules, but for now she doesn't need to be bothered with the everyday  choices and decisions..... such as the following... ( sorry if this sounds weird )

Firstly, I don't want any pity... Or sympathy....these are just my thoughts and what Is happening in me at the moment. Julie went away for 2 months a couple of nights ago and I am alone.... The girls are here, yes, but ultimately I am alone. No other staff helping me, and no right hand person, best friend alongside me, for a little while. We have been married 30 years. And never been apart as long as we are about to be. What I am learning... I am very busy. I miss her already. But... The biggy... Is God wants my attention. I am being tested...( failed so far ) My devotion and focus is on myself, not Him. That has to change. And will. He has placed things into my life and allowed other things into my life to test me and see what is happening in my heart.... For that to happen best, I need to be alone. Just He and me. I am praying and hoping I will win, succeed and pass the test. Eventually. He has drawn me back to some basic truths, some old books that H

Unbelievable isnt it ? 2012 has started and 2011 finished... as quick as 2011 came she went... and I am geussing it will be a bit like that this year too. does anyone out there want to join me in saying,...screaming...... slow down..... !!!!!!!!!!! I dont think all the yelling and screaming on the entire planet will slow anything like "time" down... so I think we need to make the most of the time that we have. some say ..live for the moment, maybe it might be better to live for the Lord. Making the most of every opportunity given to us. its a big year for us...Julie is about to leave for ICO,(3 months away) we are staff depleted at church and the pressure is on, really on... ( well I think it feels like its on, for me at least)  new challenges are coming my way every day at the moment, the latest a great privilege...serving on a THQ council/board for the next 12 months.... but I can honestly say, if we ( I ) am not smart this year,  I could get into trouble with th